This Time Around Read online

Christmas Eve found her on the back deck, overlooking the shadowed woods. It was unusually balmy for late December—just a jacket was needed to keep her warm. The stars twinkled in an inky-black sky. There was nothing like a Copper Creek sky. She swore they burned brighter here than anywhere else. The scent of wood smoke hung in the air, mingling with the fragrance of pine and possibility. There was just something special about this time of year.

  A breeze rustled the treetops, and the glider squeaked quietly as she rocked. It was almost midnight. Her family was already in bed, but she’d always been a night owl.

  A noise nearby made her jump.

  “Just me.” Luke’s voice scraped low as he stepped up onto the deck, a mere shadow in the darkness.

  “Hey.” Her dopey heart stuttered as he approached.

  He settled next to her on the glider even though there were plenty of other seats. She was suddenly conscious of their thighs touching. Of the familiar spicy scent of his cologne. Of his big hands, resting in his lap.

  She’d left the porch lights off to better view the stars. She was glad they were cloaked in darkness because she was certain her face was flushed. She’d only seen him a couple times since he’d come home a few days ago. Once across the family dinner table and another time when a date brought her home.

  “Who was the boy the other night?” Luke asked as if reading her mind.

  “I don’t think you know him—Derek Jameson. He’s in my class.”

  “He have an older brother named John?”

  Allie lifted a shoulder. “Don’t know. We didn’t talk about his family.”

  “He didn’t kiss you good night.”

  “It was a first date.” She tilted her head and used the flirty tone she’d practiced with some effect on other boys. “What’s with the inquisition, hotshot?”

  Tell me now, Luke. Tell me you don’t want me going out with other boys. Tell me you want to—

  “Just taking care of you, kiddo.” A smile suffused his tone. “Someone’s got to look out for you.”

  Disappointment washed over her like a tsunami. Stupid, stupid girl. He’s not interested in you. Never was. Luke would never see her as anything but his surrogate kid sister. How many times did he have to call her kiddo for her to figure that out?

  Her face flared with heat. “I’m not a kid anymore, Luke. And you’re not my big brother.” She’d never spoken so harshly to him. She suddenly needed to escape before the stinging sensation behind her eyes turned into tears.

  She started to jump from the glider.

  “Wait.” His hand caught hers.

  She paused on the edge of the seat, heart beating so hard he could surely hear it. If he warned her off Derek or gave her some big-brother lecture, she was going to scream. Or burst into tears. She wasn’t sure which would be worse.

  “Don’t go,” he whispered. He tugged her hand until she settled back in her seat.

  Their shoulders touched once again, and she felt the warmth of him through her jacket.

  She stared at him in the darkness, wishing she could read his face. But it was shrouded in shadows. His hand felt big and warm around hers—he hadn’t let go.

  Don’t be stupid. Don’t start hoping again. But her heart missed the memo. Her lungs struggled to keep pace. The warmth of his breath brushed her lips, making them tingle with want.

  “I know I’m not your brother,” he said softly. “I used to think of you as a kid, but . . . I don’t anymore.”

  What did that mean? Hope swelled, despite her best efforts to tamp it down. They were only two years apart, but the three grades between them had made it seem like more sometimes.

  “Allie.” He shifted toward her. “When I saw you at Thanksgiving . . .”

  Her breath ceased, her heart halted, waiting. He sounded nervous and flustered, and she’d simply die if he didn’t finish that last sentence.

  “What?” She didn’t dare move for fear the moment would evaporate.

  “You looked . . . different. All grown up. I went away to college, and you grew up and now . . .”

  His thumb stroked hers, stirring every cell to life, making her dizzy with need. “Now . . . ?”

  “I—I see you differently,” he finished softly.

  Moonlight glimmered in his eyes, and though she couldn’t read his expression, she felt the intensity of his gaze. Something hummed between them like a live wire, making her buzz.

  Allie wasn’t sure which one of them leaned in. But then their lips were touching, and his were moving over hers so softly. Reverently. Like maybe Luke wanted this kiss as badly as she did.

  He pushed back her hair, cradled her face. The arm she’d slugged so many times was warm and hard under her palm. The kiss was long and slow and growing more passionate by the second.

  This was no boyish, fumbling kiss. It was a sensual exploration, a masterful onslaught against any reservations she might’ve had. A mewling sound escaped her lips just before he broke off the kiss.

  He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes opening lazily. Their breaths mingled between them.

  He could probably feel her heart pounding against his, but she didn’t care—because his was beating just as hard and fast. She could feel it under her palm. The wonder of that thought made her breath catch.

  It was finally happening. Finally, after all this time.

  “Allie . . .” Luke’s exhale was loud in the stillness. “It was driving me crazy . . . being away at college, thinking of you. Knowing you were dating other guys.”

  He was jealous of those immature, ridiculous boys? Silly him. “I was just having fun.”

  He took her chin and gave her a look she felt to the tips of her toes. “Have fun with me.”

  Her hopes and wishes had come true. Luke liked her. Luke had kissed her. He wanted to be with her.

  A smile she could hold back no longer unfurled on her lips. “Okay.”

  The door behind them slid open. Allie wasn’t sure who jumped away, but suddenly a cold canyon stretched between them.

  “Allie?” Dad called. “You out there, honey?”

  “Yeah, Dad. Me and Luke.” Even she heard a new softness in her tone when she spoke his name.

  “We’re just, uh, stargazing.” Luke leaned forward, elbows on his knees, putting more space between them. “Want to join us?”

  “No, that’s okay. I just had a call and noticed Allie wasn’t in her room.” Her dad took his pediatric duties very seriously. Every parent in his practice had his cell number.

  Luke shifted. “She’s safe and sound, sir.”

  Dread spread through her veins at his big-brother tone. Her dad said good night and slid the door closed. Did she imagine the new chill in the air? The new distance between Luke and her that had nothing to do with proximity?

  Her mind spun. Did Luke think she was too young for him? That her parents would be angry if he wanted to date her? She seemed to wait an eternity for him to speak.

  “Listen, Allie . . .” He turned toward her, his voice rumbling low. “Maybe we should keep this between us for now.”

  She searched his face, but darkness hid the answers she sought. “Why?”

  “It’s just . . . this is new and . . . I don’t want the pressure of your family knowing. I’d rather just keep it between you and me for a while.”

  Then he sat back in the chair and cupped her face, his thumb gliding along her cheek, and she could think of little else.

  “Our little secret,” he said softly. “All right?”

  She wanted to shout the news to the world, but it was a small thing to ask, and right now she only wanted his lips on hers again.

  She leaned closer. “Just for now?”

  “Just for now.” And then his lips were on hers, and Allie couldn’t think at all.

  Christmas break went too fast. She and Luke found bits of time to be together, late at night on the deck or at his house when his mom was gone. They drove around town, looking at Christmas lights, and one night they s
at in his car at Murphy’s Park and made out until the windows fogged over.

  Sneaking around was kind of fun. But also, Allie longed to tell someone. She confided in her best friend, who’d known about Allie’s long-lived crush on the boy next door.

  But before Allie knew it, Luke was headed back to college and said he’d keep in touch. He would come home for spring break, he promised. But that seemed like eons away.

  They texted often and talked on the phone when Allie got a quiet moment. In February Luke found out his mom was moving to Florida with her new husband. Allie could tell this troubled Luke. And it worried Allie, too, as he’d no longer have family in Copper Creek. Not that his mom had been much of a parent.

  Allie was relieved when he accepted a job at Mitchell Construction for after graduation. He’d move home and assume the mortgage on his mom’s house.

  But soon Allie noticed he was texting her less. They went days between phone conversations, and sometimes he didn’t even answer when she called. But it was his last semester, and he wanted to finish well. Allie was proud of him for earning a bachelor’s degree in only three years.

  Besides, he’d soon be home for spring break. And she was busy with senior activities, her own grades, and her job at the Mellow Mug. There was little time to sulk as prom approached. Two weeks before the big dance she bought a silver dress that made the most of her curves and complemented the “winter wonderland” theme.

  But when she mentioned the dress to Luke on the phone one evening, he went quiet. She hadn’t brought up the prom before now, but he knew it fell during his spring break. She’d assumed . . .

  A shudder of dread coursed through her at his sudden silence.

  “Who are you going with?” he asked finally.

  She blinked as her stomach dove for her feet. “I—I thought I was going with you.”

  “Allie . . . ,” he said after a beat.

  When he didn’t complete the sentence, she found her own words. “What, Luke? Aren’t we seeing each other? You knew my prom was coming up. You’ll be home that week and everything.”

  “Yeah, but . . . we’re keeping everything low-key, right? Like we said?”

  She gritted her teeth. “It’s my senior prom, Luke.”

  “I know, but . . . can’t you go with your friends?”

  She gave the phone a withering look, wishing Luke could see it. “My friends are going with their boyfriends.” And she’d turned down two offers from other boys.

  Another long silence passed. Allie wanted to hit something. But the sting of tears behind her eyes warned her that if she didn’t get off the phone, she was going to embarrass herself.

  “Never mind.” Her words were clipped. “It’s fine. I have to go now.”

  “Allie, please understand . . .”

  Feeling a sob rise in her throat, she said goodbye, disconnected the call, and promptly broke into a flood of tears.

  She didn’t hear from Luke for two days. He sent her a text saying he wouldn’t make it home for spring break after all. Some school project. Over the next couple days a few stilted texts went back and forth, wherein Allie acted as if she were fine.

  Then there was nothing. No texts. No calls.

  Allie grieved the loss. She couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. What had she done wrong? She lost six pounds and dressed in her old, sloppy clothes to hide the weight loss. She convinced her family she wasn’t feeling well and ended up at the doctor’s office (diagnosis: senior blues).

  Jared Wallace, a mutual friend of Luke’s and hers who attended UGA, came home on spring break, and Allie ran into him at the Rusty Nail. In the course of their discussion he mentioned seeing Luke around campus, often with the same pretty girl.

  Allie thought her heart would break in two. Luke had found someone else and dropped her like a hot potato. Luke had stayed on campus with her rather than coming home to take Allie to prom.

  The night of the dance she dressed up in her silver dress, curled her hair, and applied makeup. She faked her way through pictures, then drove straight to a friend’s house, where she spent the night.

  Clearly she and Luke were over, almost before they’d begun, and she didn’t even understand what she’d done to push him away. Senior year ended in a mixed fog of celebration and phony smiles.

  Luke returned home and took possession of his mom’s house. He didn’t come around the house as often, but Allie saw him coming and going.

  She couldn’t stand the awkward pauses and false cheer when her family was around. So when a sudden opportunity arose in Atlanta for a spot in a summer chef class (cooking being her newest interest), Allie jumped at the escape.

  And when it was over, she stayed. She hated living so far from her family. Hated living away from Copper Creek. But she had to stay away if she was ever going to get over Luke Fletcher.

  Chapter 6

  The boppy sounds of Allie’s music were getting on Luke’s last nerve. He was a firm believer in a driver’s music privileges, but it wasn’t worth provoking her by claiming them.

  Following her GPS’s instructions (and grateful for the brief interruption of “Tutti Frutti”), he turned onto a road that would take them deeper into the Blue Ridge Mountains.

  He hadn’t blamed Allie for being upset when things had gone south between them seven years ago. He’d never forget seeing her with fresh eyes that Thanksgiving, all grown up. Time had stopped when he kissed her, and for weeks he could think of little else.

  So, yes, he’d freaked out a little at the idea of her parents finding out. What if something went wrong between them? And didn’t something always go wrong eventually? How would that affect his relationship with the Adamses? That thought only made him more anxious since his mom had gotten married. And when she moved away, the thought of being alone brought a cold trickle of fear.

  Maybe if he’d found the words to explain that to Allie . . . but he didn’t quite understand it himself. Besides, he’d been young and afraid she’d talk him out of his decision—it wouldn’t have taken much. One look into those brown eyes, and he would’ve been a goner. So he just kind of let the relationship drift away.

  He’d thought things would return to normal when he finished college and moved back home. But Allie was furious. She hid her anger around her family. But when he caught her alone, she responded with withering looks and stubborn silence. When he went out onto his deck, she went back inside. When he ran into her at the Mellow Mug, she took his order as if he were a stranger—and he was pretty sure she’d done something to his drink.

  His attempts to apologize were met with flinty looks and twisted lips.

  He’d hurt her, and she was hurting him in return. If only she knew that the breakup had gutted him. That losing her had left a hollow spot inside. Why couldn’t they just try to get back to normal? He missed her rambling excitement over her interest du jour, missed the way she jumped from one topic to another without skipping a beat, missed the way her eyes went to half-moons when she laughed.

  But he hadn’t found the words to tell her. And then she’d moved to Atlanta.

  Luke still had his surrogate family. He wouldn’t trade them for the world—or apparently for the love of his life, who was currently staring silently out the passenger window due to the many years left on The Grudge.

  A terrible, familiar odor filled the car, and he reached for the window crank.

  “Ugh. What is that smell?” They were Allie’s first words in two hours.

  Luke began rolling down the window.

  “Don’t. It might be outside.”

  Luke glanced back at Walter, who was sleeping through the outrageous stench. “Oh, it’s definitely not outside.”

  Allie gave Walter the stink eye. “That is downright foul.”

  “He’s got tummy troubles.”

  “Does he have any redeeming qualities?”

  “Yes, he bites animal haters.”

  “I don’t hate animals—you know I was bitten as a child.” She sniffed
, her chin notching upward. “Besides, I’m a volunteer at the zoo, and I do have a pet of my own.”

  “What kind of pet?”

  “A cat. A beautiful gray cat—Mary, Queen of Scots.”

  “You named your cat after a queen?”

  “She was just a stray, but her royal bearing made me feel like I should immediately genuflect. So, yes, a queen.”

  A grin tugged at his mouth. That sounded just like the Allie he remembered.

  A sudden downpour had Luke flipping on the wipers.

  “Slow down. You’re going too fast.”

  But the shower had apparently been going on in the mountains awhile. The ground was muddy, and water puddled in the low-lying parts of the road.

  He slowed, taking the next curve with caution.

  Allie’s phone dinged and a moment later she gave a dry laugh. “Mom says, ‘Drive carefully and slow, and for heaven’s sake don’t run out of gas on those mountain roads.’ And Dad says, ‘Don’t strip the gears.’ Clearly I haven’t told them you’re driving.”

  He couldn’t miss the bitter tone. He didn’t know if it was because she was the baby of the family or because her older sister was her polar opposite, but her parents seemed to favor Olivia sometimes.

  “They obviously trusted you with the car,” he said.

  Which meant they were now trusting him with the car, technically. What if something went wrong? What if he wrecked the car? Allie was family—and he was not. His shoulder muscles tightened at the thought, and he eased off the accelerator.

  Thunder clapped, reverberating through the mountains, as they passed a crossroads.

  Luke glanced in the rearview mirror. “Weren’t we supposed to turn back there?” he asked over the song blaring from her phone.

  Allie checked the GPS. “I lost cell signal. But I think you’re right.”

  He slowed down at the next turnoff and headed back to the road.

  “Do you know the way without the GPS?” he asked. The roads through the mountains were like a maze, but Allie had been to her grandparents’ quite a few times.

  “I think so.” She lifted her chin and sniffed—to let him know that, yes, she was conversing with him, but she was still miffed. Probably even more so after her parents’ texts.